Getting out of the hole

Being healthy is hard for everyone, no matter what *size* you are. We all struggle to eat good food and cut out sugar, salt, and white flour. Because that shit is everywhere! And, I don’t care what they claim, NOBODY likes kale. Nobody. But this is what life is, putting things in to improve the condition of the machine that is your body. Just like keeping clean oil in your car, your body requires maintenance. It requires extra money. Extra effort. It won’t just “run forever” if you don’t do SOMETHING, the RIGHT thing, to keep it going. And there are no good shortcuts. It never ends. There isn’t a timeframe, like if you eat healthy for five years, then you get to take five years off and eat whatthefuckever… This is life. Do the right things to make the best of it.

Like so many people, I have struggled with my weight most of my life. My mother never caught on to the whole “processed food is bad, mkay” campaign, which meant box mac’n’cheese and instant mashed potatoes were a staple at our table. I have spent far too much of my life overweight and insecure. I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin. I have never found inner peace by “accepting myself for who I am and loving my body.” I don’t accept who I am, because I am depressed, but I can work on that. And I don’t love my body. Some days, I would totally go so far as to say I FUCKING hate my body. But I don’t *want* to hate my body. I want to love it, I just… Can’t. Not like this. Because I know I can do better. I can BE better. I can look in the mirror and be satisfied, because I will be doing my honest best, instead of just lying to myself and scraping by. Fuck all that “if you don’t love yourself now, it won’t matter what size you are, you never will.”


I’m an awesome fucking person.

I love lots of things about myself. But not my fat ass. Or my jiggly fat belly. Or my flabby arms. Fuck no I don’t LOVE them. Psshhh… Please….

I love my brain. My opinions, my heart… NOT my love handles. And I have every right to not love them.

And so I’ve come to the realization, standing here on the edge of 30, peering down into the dark crater that is the rest of my life… I really need to change some things. For myself, and for my children, who will learn from what I do. I will be giving myself one year to make this very big life change. I think that’s a reasonable timeframe considering the amount of weight I want to lose, which is a whopping 70 pounds. My goal weight is 140. You do that math.

My 30th Birthday is July 20th, 2016. I’m shooting for then, but giving myself more time than that because I make the damned rules. The end date of this little game is set for September 10th, 2016.

I will be sharing my “weight loss journey” (can we PLEASE call it something else, I hate that phrase!) with you lovely people. And I am not going to ask you to buy some stupid ex-celebrity exercise dvd. Or subscribe to anything. Or to watch a video about how to buy some new miracle pill. What I will ask for (at times I may even beg) is your support. For those of your who have taken your own weight loss journey, you know all too well how easy it is to lose motivation, and how fast you sink back into “the hole.”

I… Need… You.

I’m going to need you to be my cheerleaders, my confidants, my coaches, my partners, and my competition. I know it’s a big job, but I said you have to, so there.

I will be sharing the exercise that I do, the food I eat, pictures of my progress, and the state of mind I’m at throughout the process. I am anticipating some really good comedy from all of this, so please, follow along, and poke fun of how miserable I’m going to be for the next year!!



#No…. #YouGotta. #ItsTime.



  1. plaguedparents · September 10, 2015

    Totally behind you!!! I did a post talking about how it was ok not to always love your body too. So glad someone else said it as well.
    Looking forward to cheering you on, you got this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • This Might Be Awkward · September 10, 2015

      Thank you so much! I remember that post! It really hit home. I’m just tired of knowing that I can change this, I just haven’t. I don’t have an ailment stopping me, other than laziness. I need to get off my rump. It’s nice to know I’ve got backers!! πŸ’žπŸ’Ÿ

      Liked by 1 person

  2. jmarts40 · September 10, 2015

    I am right there with ya! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Julie · September 10, 2015

    Love you to darlin!! You are very motivating and I will be right there with you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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